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*_aMy]]
*_dAvId SaShI]]
__* ~aLeX~ ]]
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thought of the day :: ......weaken... so tt i can be made strong in YOUR strength....
half way through my 40% essay which is due in.... 18 hours time... decided to type in some thoughts.... blog bashing?? *shurgs* i dunno... if u wanna see it tt way... then maybe.. yah.. if not.. then maybe not.... ======================================= Into Your hands, I commit again. With all I am, For You Lord. You hold my world, In the palm of Your hands. And I am Yours, Forever. Jesus, I believe in You Jesus, I belong to You You're the reason that I live The reason that I sing With all I am I'll walk with You Wherever You go Through tears and joy I'll trust in You And I will live In all of Your ways And promises Forever ================================= I once shared in youth that this is the song that meant like a prayer for me ( i have said this in my bloggie before as well), a song that carried me through my toughest times... a song that was like a prayer of strength and comfort in times of trouble....... it had been sometime since BCC sang this song on a sunday service... since they are always very "up to date" abt praise and worship songs.. singing the lastest songs from hillsongs or planetshakers.... surprisingly, it was sang on a sunday morning... recently... more surprisingly was the fact tt, that morning... i was feeling weak... feelings of doubts... feelings of inadequate.... jus looking down at myself... no strength.... it was beginning of all tt had happened.... that song was sang in sunday service... serving as a reminder to me.. that in times of trouble God's there... at all times... for me to seek comfort in... for me to seek strength in.... for me to seek guidance in... for me to seek peace in.... all the more powerful were the reminders tt followed on... sermon messages... reminding me tt God's my source of strength... everytime when i felt low.. i reminded myself tt God's my strength... i cant do it... i can onli do it through him... each and everyday i remindede myself HE IS MY STRENGTH.... SEEK HIM TO FIND MY STRENGTH.... i managed to "cruise" through not too badly..... but the big smack on the back tt made me fall finally came.... of all people... it has to be u.... i hv always made an effort to put all things aside to tok to u on the phone... be it 2 hours everynite... be it mean tt i hav lesser time to slp.... be it mean tt i chuck my work aside.... u knew tt i was out whole day at the young adults conference... although i dropped a message in between ur so many messages... although way before we entered this i hav warned u tt there will be times when i will be busy.... although we hav already settled the issue on the "chatting with SMS"....despite all these..... i still got an angui person over the phone asking me whether i will drop a call... even though.. i jus got home (at half past 12)... dropped my bagz... got a massage from YY... bathed (i was so tired i didnt even wash my hair tt nite...)... set my alarm clock for the nex day (sunday morning to church)... it was already 2am then.... i know i was wrong... for not replying u.. when u had texted me so many times.... i said sorry... and u said "OK..." i assume tt u agreed i was in the wrong..... then i asked.. "are u angui...??" and u replied sternly... "ALITTLE..!?" my heart broke.... dropped... then sank.... *OUCH* wat did i do.... innocently jus got home ready to give u ur call after setting my alarm.... and i got an angui call.... u didnt even ask how was my back.... which has been aching for two dayz.... even YY asked me how was my back when i got home... knowing tt it ached due to dancing..... and all u cared was whether i would hav given u a call........ *sniffz* *sobz* ive been trying to be strong and hold back even though i was on the verge of breaking down a couple of times in bed..... and tt was it.... i couldnt take it anymore... or rather.. my heart couldnt take it anymore.. it broke... although u said u were sorry... and tt its wrong of u to be so selfish... wats done.. is.. i tink... er... done... not blaming u... not at all... jus tt being all broken hearted now... got no energy to do anything that involves my brain... my mood... my heart..... all drained out already... all i can do now... is to pick myself up slowly... by God's grace and strength... may i be up on my feet again soon................... [lEfT oUr pRiNtZ__*__sIlLyGiRl] at 9:59 pm
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