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*_dAvId SaShI]]
__* ~aLeX~ ]]
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reflections...
well, its been awhile since ive blogged.. nothin much to say i guess. now just some thoughts that wanna just put out there.. reflection no 1: its been 6 weeks since i started my course in army.. and man.. YAH.. 6weeks! seems like just YESTERDAY that we started.. and 6weeks past.. that means.. im half way thru already!! wooHOO!! and just thank God for helpin me with the course material. initially did feel that it was something was gonna struggle wid but i guess wasnt as difficult as i had expected. Thank God!! so far so good! so, managed to get the "good performance carrot".. which was a half day off. next one is a FULL DAY OFF! gotta work for that one! im just thankful that ive made it this far. cant wait to get past this course and done with it! hehehe.. reflection no 2: well, its been a GOOD 2years since i worship led @ elim youth.. must say, when asked to do it by zhenqiang, had mixed feelings. mainly gladness & apprehension. i guess its just me, being away from that role for so long.. especially in my home church.. cant really explain it. but was just so nervous before that. i know i had done it a couple of times before, but as much as i ought not feel tt way, just did. but that was all before the service. Thank God it went well. i can only say its in our weakness HIS strength is magnified! AND MAN... its SOOO GOOD to have a band like i did that day!!! derek & amos on guitar! Jamie on keys! Dominic on drums!! and my man Gideon on bass! Gideon ah.. this guy ah.. tell u.. he is ONE CHARACTER la.. baby thinks so too!.. okok.. wont go into that..just abt him playin bass and i think he deserves special mention!..i decided to do "salvation is here".. the first time doin it at elim youth.and for u guys who heard e cd.. there is tt bass line before goin into e bridge part.. and man.. HE DID THAT..dude.. if u read this.. again, A JOB WELL DONE!! God has GREAT things in store for u!! go get it man!! all in all, the band, great la! derek leadin em..yea.. all of em..AWESOME GROUP! baby, thanks for callin me just to pray for me before youth started. appreciate it heaps! u're awesome!!*muack* reflection no 3: as some of u know, or if u dont know, ok, i'll mention it here.. i got these 3 guys in my life [no im not gay] who are like brothers to me..joshua, jeremy & timothy.. we've like been thru ALOT together.. and boy.. do i mean .. ALLOOOTTT.. these guys are just like THERE.. even when we hardly talk.. i know.. they ARE THERE..and.. when we meet up.. BOY.. we are in a world of our own!! havin our own fun!! hah.. memories.. but.. well.. just that, been thinkin abt the YOUNGEST of my bros.. timmy boy! hehe.. [again i say.. i AM NOT gaY!].. met up with him not too long ago.. went for a movie with him, swensens, and ok.. this sounds dodgy.. but yeah.. we went to a park near his house and just chilled.. listenin to him and abt stuff, man, listenin to what he had to say abt whatever we went thru, im glad we're still bros! and honestly, am worried a lil as far as goin to church is concerned. not too many details here, but bro, if elim is not where u wanna be, find some place u can call home man.. u may question stuff at times, but never doubt HIS faithfulness.. final reflection: i guess its not so much a reflection, more like a lil message to my baby. well, i know what u are facing is tough, its weighing you down & just weakens u. the guilt, the shame & the memories. in all honesty, i cant deny the questions that arose in my mind. the doubts & the fears. did i expect it? definitly not. was i scared? sleepless nights. feelings of inadequacy resonated. the familiar yet dreaded fear that i just felt i couldnt shake off...initially.. and yeah. im sorry i had u up tt night when i said i wanted to be alone. but, i knew its something i HAD to do. but right now, what matters, is you & you dealing with this. im glad you're doin it & i know how u feel guilty abt how im feeling..abt how i shouldnt have to go through this.. how this may not be my baggage and stuff. but, like i said, this is abt you now. i know how much u care for me and all of that.. but right now, this chapter has to be closed.. and im gonna walk right beside u and i promise you this, im gonna be strong for you. we'll take YOUR steps, together.. not mine... and yeah.. baby steps.. rest assured, im gonna do all i can to see you thru this even if it brings me down.. i want you to focus on what YOU have to do..coz thats what im gonna be doin.. focusing on YOU.. baby, i love you. and none of this has or will change that. you're in my prayers! we'll go thru this together with your hand in mine.. i promise. [lEfT oUr pRiNtZ__*__sIlLyBoY] at 11:54 pm
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